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January 24, 2013 / mrsdeboots

Baby shower favors-a favor? Nah, you owe me a limb

How does one owe oneself a limb?

No one asked me to make anything, I volunteered myself, and could’ve absolutely wrapped nasty ass Jordan almonds in tulle, and it would’ve been generic and completely unthoughtful, so I decided to come up with something myself. Like an idiot.

Baby shower favors, like wedding favors and group office gifts, make me barf. As the Internet will tell you, everything, everything ever done ever by anyone has been done before.

But…

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So this was my inspiration.
Take striped paper, change the letters on it to say Leah is ready to pop, (even if she already has, I was told to change nada) and cut then in the shape of little popcorn boxes, and smack it all to the front if some microwave popcorn.

Like this

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Of course, I’ll be using kettle corn, not this smart pop crap, that was the only popcorn in the house at the time. I’m obviously nota big popcorn fan. Yuck.

This was gonna be so easy I thought. It was 11ish when I got started, and all I had to do was some lettering on photoshop, that couldn’t be too hard!

Hahahaha ha. Me and photoshop don’t exactly jive, but with 8022 fonts to choose from, I’d have this knocked out and ready to print by 11:30.

This was not to be the case.

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This is the only photo I took during the almost 2 hour adventure, as I was indescribably annoyed. There was no font even remotely similar to the one on the damned box, the circle looked like shit, and when you put ‘Ready to Pop’ in a grouping, all it looked like to me was ‘Ready to Poop.’

Now if I was making something to celebrate an end to a bout of constipation, then woot, success! But I was not.

So after all this time, a terrific headache from grinding my teeth from tension caused by my lack of understanding a program, I came up with this, which a kindergartner could’ve done. While standing on his head.

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It’s cutesy, which really isn’t my thing, but whatever. Babies are cutesy, Leah looks like a porcelain doll, so cutesy works, but my original idea was buried.

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I didn’t get any of the striped paper cut, nor, even with my written instructions, could I figure out how to duplicate the shit so I could print multiples on pages. And I could’ve asked Shane, but them he would’ve made smart comments about how I didn’t use layers, or flatten my layers, or constructively use the lasso tool, or what the fuck ever else is there that makes me feel stupid, so I didn’t do shit.

I ate a half quart of Talento Belgian chocolate gelato in bed while watching stepbrothers. It was now my 33rd birthday, and I wanted to pitch a fit like a 2 year old.

To be continued…

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