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November 28, 2012 / mrsdeboots

A night in the life of

ETA: I didn’t edit any of my photos and any brown smears are either blood or chocolate. Not poo. And I did this post over my 20 minutes of lunch so excuse the typos.

Apparently a fatty disorganized prediabetic.  I tried to document my life after B goes to bed, taking a photo every 5-20 minutes depending on what I was doing…so here goes. This one is for you Crystal.

I begin my evening as always, with a cocktail of sunkist, zantac, and zyrtec.

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Go to my studio and realize I had Shane stand in my stool to hem his coat.

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Go and get it, ignoring the disaster area I call the living room.

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Thumbs up!

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I want the tension light in the hem, so I can easily remove it when it is undoubtedly done incorrectly, and being that I don’t know my sewing machine, nor where the book is, I just try each setting on a scrap.

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Nope.

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Alright! We have lift off.

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Take the huge and poorly pinned fabric and try to arrange it so I don’t accidentally sew it to itself in a place its not supposed to he sewn.

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And hold my breath.

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And done. I will not cut excess fabric as of yet in case its wrong.

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I’ll just fold it under for photos.

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Wander into the living room, and se some frozen cake I took out of the freezer to thaw some 3 hours ago.

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See the clock on the stove stating it is now almost 11, and I need to shower.  No photos of this of course, but after shower I must do my facial routine, a complicated step process, starting with exfoliating the shit out of my face with my clarisonic brush, using the body head (not recommended for or by anyone)

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Then I use all this crap

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My hair, as always, is ignored.

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This stuff is to replace the moisture that I rip off of my face with the clarisonic brush, and is greasy as all get out, so I must at least move my hair. Warning..no make up photo..yuck.

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Gorgeous I know.

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The living room can no longer be ignored, especially since a tiger is eating a penguin and clean laundry is littered about.

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Oh shit, my cake!

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I scarf this down while watching Archer, my new favorite guilty pleasure.

5 minutes later, start finishing my pirate coat sleeves.

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Boo.

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This one is pretty much finished, but I have to make the other match. This will prove to be difficult, as I altered the fabric multiple times prior, and didn’t update the other fabric.

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It’s made of suede, not glitter, so o don’t know why it looks like that. Regardless, the sleeves are so puffy that I have to hand stitch the ends together.

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A blatant fuck up on the edges causes me great distress, so I stare at the tv for a good 5-10 minutes.

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I figure I will just stick over it, its the damned underside if the sleeve anyway, and if some renaissance fair freak show is staring at it that hard for mistakes, well, fuck them.

Despite bags and bags of gold buttons, I need 78 similar ones.

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So I start sewing on the black strip stuff

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I measure carefully (ha!) attempting to get the spacing correct to match the almost completed sleeve.

Realizing that, as par for the course, I mis measured my precut strips

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I trim them and start seeing them on.  All this stupid hand sewing has left my fingertips blistered, so I abandon this and start on attaching ribbons to blackbeards weave.  I prebraided some the other day, but just recently got the red bows.

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At this time Shane arrived home from having his sword cut down to be more blackbeard like, and began tossing the cut off tip about like a ball, promptly stabbing himself in the foot.

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A caring wife, I know.

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He then wanted me to tape a paper towel to it, which I ignored, and dressed it properly.  With a bandage. Like a normal person uses.

It is now 12:22, and I should have been in bed 20 minutes ago.

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Into bed with my nightly double caramel magnum bar and the tazorac, which also peels the skin from my face.

I see from the photo I have old lady dry hands, maybe I should show them some love too?

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Eh, maybe not.

7 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. nurulthecook / Nov 28 2012 7:46 pm

    Can’t wait to see how you pirate -errm-coat? costume? turns out!! Looks really good already! And yes, you are gorgeous-especially your personality. And the magnum before bedtime is a must. I had a habit of eating chocolate before going to bed after brushing my teeth(if I could be bothered) for years and years. And when I say chocolate I mean at least 1 small bar (100g) or half a large bar (300g). 🙂 🙂 🙂 Wonderful that you’re so dedicated to your art!! Love it!!

  2. Crystal / Nov 28 2012 8:20 pm

    You my dear Rock this is my favorite post thus far supermom, loving wife, nurse, writter, crafter, artist, need I say more you are amazing!! I’m not so sure I believe the bit about Shane’s foot being an accident (maybe I should add husband beater to your list of talents) Just kidding and on top of it all you still find time to fit in a beauty routine!! You my dear have inspired me and I vow to go home and make homemade Christmas ornaments while cooking bathing the kids exfoliating my face and stabbing my boyfriend. I’m going to make you PROUD 🙂

  3. KungFuGirl / Dec 2 2012 7:35 pm

    I love this post. 🙂 I was supposed to be doing 5 other things, but I feel like I accomplished a lot coming here to read everything you did! You’re amazing. 🙂 And by the way, the no-makeup pic wasn’t yuck. Your skin looks fantastic!

    • mrsdeboots / Dec 3 2012 5:35 am

      Aw thanks! It is the ultimate compliment you know, taking up important time. I think so anyway.

      There is a lot of good that comes with bring in dermatology for 12 years. You avoid the sun like the plague and acquire a massive step routine for your face, going thru a snake like skin replacement every few weeks. Thank you for saying my skin looks nice, I do spend an amazingly selfish amount of time on it daily and I often wonder if its worth it!

  4. ohyesshesabitchbutnotyours / Dec 3 2012 5:05 am

    I found this post hilarious! I could almost hear your voice all the time, as funny as it sounds 😀 Stay awesome! Followed!!

    -Mari
    http://ohyesshesabitchbutnotyours.com/

    • mrsdeboots / Dec 3 2012 5:37 am

      Woot! Thanks so much!

      That’s really what I was going for, like an ADD play by play. So you totally got it!

  5. Brandy Desiree Collins / Dec 6 2012 1:29 am

    Aghhhh!!!! God, I love you!!!!

    This is freaking brilliant. Sheer freaking genius.

    We would be the best of friends, if we lived close to each other.

    Awesome post.

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