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October 29, 2012 / mrsdeboots

Me & Mr. Sedaris

I met David Sedaris, one of my few living literary heroes.

It was just as nerve wracking as I thought it would be, and if not for Shane I would have stood there stammering like a fool.

Firstly, I should like to brag about my seats.

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First half of that photo is the view to my front..stage and shoe.

Second half is everyone else behind me.

This filled me with glee.

The unfortunate part of going to any sort of concert or public venue is my intolerance for renaissance fair types.  I mean no disrespect, as I’m sure there are some trecky types that don’t loudly boast about comic con or chicken legs cooked by Sir what’s-his-nuts, but in my experience, these people are more perturbing than artists and hipsters and even my arch nemisis, the one upper.  Why?  Because they are all of the above, rolled into one.

Loud.
Always trying to prove how weird/different they are.
Loudly discussing facts about persons such as Weird Al, and their knowledge of his birthday or favorite entree to the person beside them who damn well already knows this shit, so it is for the surrounding people’s benefit.

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Before my annoyance set in, I was quite happy.  Then, as I became slowly surrounded by weirdos, my irritation grew. 

Just ignore them, I kept repeating to myself.  But as the venue became more and more crowded, and they got louder and louder, I resigned myself to the fact that I would soon be removed from the auditorium by punching the loudest one in her big fat mouth.

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It’s the one in the stripes, arms crossed like the genie of bullshit.

I did not punch her, as thankfully the show started and she managed to shut the fuck up, perhaps by finding a biscuit or something to shove in her formidable mouth.

I laughed so hard I cried, and when the time came for book signing, Shane being the escapee he is, got us in the line with lightning speed, even with me thinking we would never get to the beginning of the line.  I mean, we were behind all these people

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As my turn grew closer, and once again stuck near some D-bag types, I was both excited and annoyed.  And nauseated.  Unfortunately for me, my fight or flight nervous type response is always accompanied by the need to vomit, so I saw myself making quite the impression on David Sedaris as I vomited all over him and my books.

Luckily, this didn’t happen.

I immediately froze up, and Shane, not knowing how awesome he is and never experiencing nervousness, joked with him about my panic, and I loosened up a bit.  He asked what I did, and I explained I was a dermatology nurse.  He asked me about a spot on his face, and I asked to touch it, as dermatology is a sight/feel based discipline, and this would say whether his spot was a SK or lentigo.  He said yes, and with no texture, it was a lentigi (Sun freckle). I explained what he could do, and actually got to write in his personal notebook with his personal pen.

I did wait until I was a ways outside before I squealed with hysterical happiness.

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It was one of the best nights of my life.

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2 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. nurulthecook / Nov 2 2012 5:06 am

    I’m so happy for you!!!!!!!!

    • mrsdeboots / Nov 2 2012 11:00 am

      I know!! I’m still excited for me and It’s been a week!

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