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October 19, 2012 / mrsdeboots

Opinions wanted..what’s worse?

In your opinion, which type of person is worse..a one upper OR a liar?

Most people know what a liar is, so i’ll save any explanation.  I’m not talking about a little white liar, I’m talking sociopathic tendancy liar.

A one upper is a person who, no matter what you are describing, did something better, or more interesting, or more life changing/affirming than you.  Regardless of the awesomeness or horrific-ness of your situation, they always butt in with their story.  Whether a death, vacation, or story worthy bout of diarrhea..nothing is sacred.

So which is worse to you?

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2 Comments

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  1. a beautiful mess / Oct 20 2012 4:29 am

    To me, it’s not so much a comparison; both behaviors basically suck serious chocolate salty balls.

    There is a significant distinction I’ll make, however: when we are faced with someone lying to us, it’s a black and white, inexcusable indication that the person cannot be trusted. Trust is fundamental in any type of relationship. Without it, the foundation is non-existent. It hurts to experience the pain of realizing someone in your life does not value the integrity of the relationship. But there’s no way around the fact that this is precisely the case; that person chose to place their own personal motivations over your relationship. Cut and dry. Kind of a universal standard.

    It’s a bit different with a story-topper.

    Whatever the reason for this social faux pas, it all stems from insecurity. The person might have good intentions; they might not. Maybe they feel threatened by you or insecure around you. Or, they might feel insignificant or inferior in general, regardless of the setting/environment/company. This type of person is typically oblivious to the extent of their behavior. Often, one-upper personality typed individuals will respond to confrontation about the behavior with “I was only sharing my own experience to express that I could relate to what was being said.” And they sincerely feel this way. What isn’t getting recognized here is that the person has a very deep seated need for validation, and because of that powerful insecurity they are oblivious to the awkwardness of their behavior. They chime in the INSTANT someone says a single word that they have a story for; it’s stealing the limelight. Usually not to be mean or condescending, but quite the opposite. Ever heard of little dog syndrome? The tiny dogs who are psycho-aggressive, attacking and barking at anybody they aren’t familiar with? It’s not because they believe they are bigger than they really are, or that they see themselves as superior to others; it is because they are so TOTALLY insecure. True story.

    Which is worse? I imagine that’s subjective. But in my world, dishonesty is a dealbreaker. Family by blood or not.

    • mrsdeboots / Oct 21 2012 12:29 pm

      I knew you would explain things succinctly! I get confused when I try to do ‘serious’ writing. But you see I did manage to add in something about poop to keep it light..but I digress.
      My delimia is I work in proximity to these 2 people. On the day to day, I come awully close to stabbing them both with a blunt pencil I keep for just such a reason. On the other hand, the nicer hand who wants to figure people out and fix them, wants to pull them aside and shake them and say, WHO DIDN’T LOVE YOU ENOUGH!?!

      The one upper constantly also tried to befriend the doctors, comparing their Lexuses (Lexi? I don’t know the plural to Lexus), ungrateful children, and then, for ONE HOUR and directly behind MY CHAIR, their lazy, incompetent, over charging CLEANING LADIES.

      The other one I don’t see much, but she works with one of my best friends and makes her life a living hell. A think a better descrupytion would be sociopath or narcissist, nit just liar. She lies a ridiculous amount about everything, and its making my friends life pure hell.

      As always Brandy, thank you for your wisdom. Your brain, I’m sure, encompasses the majority of your skull, so please be carefull should you fall.

      🙂

      I

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