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October 4, 2012 / mrsdeboots

On being bitter

Sometimes my dreadfully realistic attitude and need to see everything in a semi positive light is overcome by a dire need to let old Camille in, the Camille that is bitter and angry, the Camille that unabashedly hates everything and refuses to believe in any of new Camilles positive attitude bullshit.

That being said, I still have a sense of humor, I just can’t deal with my life at times.  It’s not that my life is awful, it’s really not.  It’s just that sometimes, (and I don’t think I’m alone in this) I feel like its easier, when consistently surrounded my negativity and stress, to let it envelop me than to fight it.

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One of the few ways I make actual money with my art, and I use the term art very, very lightly, is to make diaper cakes.  I wrote a post a while back about how much this makes me feel like a bad artist.  It’s not that I mind making them, It’s fun, and really the thing that got me back into doing any type of crafty crap.

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Maybe I’m just ill because it took so much time to complete, that it took time away from scanning and Hemingway and things I actually wanted to do. 

Maybe I’m just being a selfish bitter bitch.  Maybe I’m just indulging myself in a range of useless emotions because I’m frustrated with the process of trying to finish my website, promote myself as an artist, figuring out what specific art will sell enough to support the projects I want to create.

Blerg.

So I made a bitter art.

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It’s not done, but I’m hoping when complete it will look something like this.

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6 Comments

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  1. KungFuGirl / Oct 8 2012 6:53 pm

    Your crafty diaper cake doesn’t make you a bad artist. I’m a bad artist, because I have tons of ideas but am so afraid to commit time to something that might not work out. If you are creating, you are on the right track.

    As for being bitter – is it really possible to always have a bright outlook? I don’t think so. I do the people I care about the courtesy to let them know in advance if I’m having a bad day – I’ll say, “I’m cranky today, so if I seem mean, it’s not you that I’m responding to – it’s entirely my fault.” I find that if I own my crankiness or negativity, it sticks around a lot less longer than if I don’t own it and let it just float through my life.

    Have you read “This is How” by Augusten Burroughs? Wonderful book, and he covers the need to feel happy.

    • mrsdeboots / Oct 9 2012 11:07 am

      Ahhh!!! I LURVE Augusten!! The book Magical Thinking changed my life ( as up until then I thought I was the only person who did that). I haven’t read that book, but I will. Between him and David Sedaris, who is my literary hero, besides Hemingway, I feel I really should have been a gay man with a severely addictive personality.

      Thank you..I think you are right, at least I am creating something, besides a string of obscenites that hopefully I mumble low enough that my son won’t hear.

      It’s always so awesome to find a kindred spirit.
      🙂

  2. lizeccentric7 / Oct 9 2012 8:05 am

    Ditto – I know how you feel, sometimes it seems like all day all I hear are negative comments from other people and feel like screaming, “please just shut up” to all of those people. I think, can’t a person find something good to say to me today?

    You know, for me it’s because everyone that knows me tries to fit me into some square, but it never works, then they get angry and try to get me to do crap by saying negative things. Well, negative comments make me do the opposite of what they wish for me to do, don’t know why people don’t understand that, positive comments always go farther than negative comments

    Speaking of people in real life, not in the blogosphere FYI

    Love the diaper cakes, that would make the perfect baby shower gift. Never seen anything like that you would sell those things like hotcakes around here!

    The art you made in the frame is very nice too. Keep your chin up and ignore those naysayers!

    • mrsdeboots / Oct 9 2012 11:13 am

      Yay! It’s Liz!!

      I know..I often find myself fighting the urge to scream STFFU!! to the majority of people in my life. I also don’t fit in any particular shape, I’m far too pointy. Maybe some sort of elaborate filigree type shape..

      I’m glad you like my bitter art. Sometimes a bitter art is all one needs. It makes up for the kitch of the diaper cakes.

      My diaper cakes are much more expensive than the pure crap that is advertised on the local craigslist, and due to my own embarrassment and laziness, I don’t market them. My main clientele are co workers. That bitchy pride of mine often stomps on its own toes, if that makes sense.

  3. nurulthecook / Oct 13 2012 5:56 pm

    Love your diaper cake!! Especially that it’s made with real diapers…?? The thought just sprung into my head what would it look like if the diapers were …errmmm….soiled…heheh!! And better yet, the clients face when they receive it :-)!

    Emotions can be a b*****! Just let them take over and do what they want! So what? They want in? let them in , then they’ll get bored and leave again!!

    Great that you transform these emotions into bitter art!! As always, love your posts! Thanks!

    • mrsdeboots / Oct 16 2012 5:08 pm

      Awww Nurul you are are the BEST! I love your attitude its perfect. You are totally right on!

      Ha! Poppy diaper cakes..now that would be something! I could put chocolate syrup in them..gross but funny!

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